Hi Folks,
I thought I would drop a note about
Roger's memorial and wake for those that were unable to attend.
The event brought together many friends that hadn't crossed pathes in
quite a few years.
I think he probably would have been
embarassed by all of the good things said about him. It was a
joy to hear the tales shared by the great diversity of folks that
have been a part of Roger's life-- as Urban Animal, Anderson Fair,
Yellow Cab, Comic Defensive Driving School, and Party Animal to name
a few. Roger was in attendance (a-twinkle and a-smile) in a
place of honor on top of the old piano and there was a multitude of
wonderful photographs and remembrances chronicling his life.
There was great music from many of the musicians that were part of
the fabric of Roger's contributions--across so many years--from his
Crystal Egg shows on KPFT through his tenure at the Fair as co-owner
and as sound man, and through the many gatherings since at Roger and
Gail's in the Heights.
There was great food on the sideboards
and quite a few tequila toasts were hoisted in his honor in the
kitchen. A great number of folks have commented that he would
approve. It's warming to know that Roger's spirit lives on in
the hearts, minds, and souls of so many good friends.
Take care everyone and much love to all.
Doug
"As
we gather here today to celebrate Roger's life, I am so grateful that
Tim Leatherwood has kept Anderson Fair alive and available for this
occasion. It is so appropriate that this gathering be here in this
building.
"Roger loved Anderson Fair. Some 25
years ago when Roger, the 'Artful Dodger', first arrived in Houston,
Flora and Kathy, the two beautiful ladies he followed from California
to Houston, took him to Anderson Fair. He was immediately home.
"Within a year, Roger was part
owner/night bartender/sound man and the one who booked the music,
allowing him to make friendships with many wonderful musicians. Those
were very special days. Anderson Fair was open five days a week
serving Spaghetti lunches accompanied by live music and had live
music six nights a week.
"I was the spaghetti cook, shopper and
banker at the time.
"Somewhere in there, Roger and I fell in
love. For three wonderful years we shared an apartment where we slept
and showered, but mostly,we shared innumerable hours here at Anderson
Fair where we lived our lives. We made friends and memories beyond
what can be put into words - friends and memories that would last a
lifetime. They were very special times.
"Roger loved music. Roger's life was
always full of good friends and good music. In his last few weeks in
the hospital, friends began to pour by with live music to share. I
felt very blessed to be able to play music, since words were so very
difficult at that time. I will always remember the smile on his face
a few weeks ago when Bill Cade and I went to visit. The harmonies we
sang that day truly came from the heart. There was magic in Roger's
room. The magic came from the hearts of everyone in the room. The
magic came from Roger.
"Roger loved people. He was a special
friend. He always reached out to folks to make them feel welcome. He
was always there to talk to when you wanted. And if you didn't want
to talk, Roger was still there. With a wink of the eye you always
knew your friend was with you.
"Roger loved the women. The women loved
Roger. Wherever you saw Roger, you would always see a group of women.
He always took care of the ladies. And the ladies loved and took care
of him.
"Roger loved good food and could cook
the most wonderful lasagnas, among many other great things. Many of
my favorite memories with Roger involve sharing food in fine
restaurants or with friends at parties.
"Roger loved games. In this room are
probably a bunch of dart playing friends that will always miss
Roger's good sense of sportsmanship and fun. He could appreciate a
good football game on TV and work crossword puzzles with the best of
them.
"Roger loved to drive. Roger came to us
in his orange and white VW microbus, driving from California to Texas
on the skirttails of two beautiful women he had met in LA.
"It's not surprising that when Roger
retired from Anderson Fair his next career would be with the Yellow
Cab Co. Roger took great pride in things that he could do well and
driving was one of those things. He taught many hours of Defensive
Driving. He moved up in the Cab Co. to managerial positions. We are
all grateful for his job which, in the end, helped Roger go in peace
knowing that the expenses of his year long battle have been paid.
"Roger loved Dylan. When Roger came to
Houston, he left behind a young son, Dylan. Although Dylan grew up in
Arizona with his mom, he came to Houston in the summers and spent
time with his dad. As a child, he shared in the Anderson Fair
experience with all of us. When Dylan reached adulthood, he came to
Houston to live close to his dad. Dylan's a very charming and caring
young man, much like his father. And much like his father at the time
we first met him, Dylan is a free spirit, not yet sure of his own
destiny. Dylan was there for his dad last fall when everything went
bad. He helped Gail nurse and take care of Roger. This has been a
very difficult and challenging time in Dylan's life. I am so very
sorry for his loss.
"Roger loved Gail. The best thing Roger
ever did in his life was to find and keep that lady Gail. I was among
the first to know when he found her. He told me she was definitely "a
keeper". He credited myself and our friend, Sharon, with having
taught him the value of being true to the woman you love. He
realized, he said, that the "good ones" don't ever become available
again. And he said he planned to keep this one and treat her like a
princess.
"And he did. Gail and Roger shared 14
years of only the best and most wonderful memories.
"During the battle for life this last
year, Gail showed strength and devotion that should inspire all of
us. She and Roger both kept positive, non complaining attitudes all
the way through and to the very difficult end of this very difficult
struggle for life.
"Roger loved life. He fought to keep it
as long as he could. We don't know why this had to happen, but we
know that Roger can rest peacefully knowing that he leaves behind
only wonderful memories, wonderful friends and family that loved him
beyond what any words can say.
"Roger loved life. Life loved Roger.
Rest in peace, Roger. You will live on in our hearts forever.
Roger Ruffcorn
invented the Internet. He pitched briefly for the White Soxs in the
late 70's and was a better than average dart thrower. Although I
never saw Roger do any of these things, he told me about them often,
so they must be true.
A lot of people don't know too much
about Roger's past. After spending several years under his employ, I
found out stuff that family and friends might have never known. He
was in fact a Renaissance Man - or maybe he went to the Renaissance
Festival.
Roger wrote a book about words that
mean the same thing, sort of a "Thinking Man's Dictionary". Sadly,
not only did the publisher change the name of the book Thesaurus,
they also misspelled Roger's name. What's another word for
bastards?
Roger was the creative force behind
the movie "Who Killed Roger Rabbit?" I think we can all agree that
his wife Gail was the inspiration behind Jessica Rabbit. She is to
this day, one of my favorite cartoon characters.
Roger was a fighter pilot in World War
II; as a matter of fact Roger, when signing off, first coined the
phrase "Roger Wilco, over and out."
In the 1950's, Roger wrote music with
the guy named Hammerstein. In the 60's, he was the driving force
behind the Who (using his stage name Roger Daultry). And Roger was
never related to, associated with, or was known to even hum any songs
by Kenny Rogers. Roger was particularly proud of that aspect of his
life.
Roger loved to drive, he drove for
Yellow Cab and owned a driving school. As a matter of fact, that is
where we met. Without so much as asking me if I knew how to drive or
teach, Roger hired me to teach people comedy defensive driving. The
fact that I was not a comic or even a licensed driver did not stop
Roger from molding me into the State approved licensed driving
instructor and notary public I am today. To Roger's credit, he never
let me drive him anywhere, his tolerance for my creativity did not
extend itself to life threatening peril. That was written before this
Thursday. At exactly 2:30 PM on Thursday of this week, I had the
honor and pleasure of escorting Gail and Roger back to the house from
the funeral home.... giving some clear definition of precious
cargo.
While under his employ, Roger and I
pretended we knew what we were doing in the world of defensive
driving. I broke just about every rule of comedy, driving, and good
business practices, and Roger worked on every possible variation of
explaining the systems of logic, good taste, and common sense to me.
I would love to report that I got smarter, wiser, or learned to
behave myself. Suffice it to say Roger learned to develop a taste for
my coloring outside the lines, and for that, I am forever in his
debt.
About as close as we ever came to
conflict involved the now famous "Roger glances over the top of his
glasses". Anyone who has ever pissed off Roger will recall his
celebrated "silence and tight smile", usually followed by the
"Ruffcorn head shake, shoulder shrug, and hearty laugh". This usually
indicated the fight was over and you had either won, or more likely
lost but been forgiven.
I never met anyone who embodied the
live and let live credo as well as ol' Roger. I proudly never
will.
Part of our world was all about
answering phones. I still do this 24 hours a day, it's a torch he
handed me when he left the business, and frankly not a day goes by
that I don't think about "the melodious tones of Radio Free Roger".
We could be in the heat of battle, bickering or bullshitting, and
when that phone rang, ol' Roger was "on the air" and "happy to be
there". He could give directions, take reservations, and still carry
on our original conversation without anyone being shortchanged or
left out of the loop. The man was a multitasking God.....
I shall miss my friend Roger, he
laughed at my jokes and showed me ways of being grown up without
growing up. We all need Roger Ruffcorns in our lives and we all need
to pass along the wisdom he has brought into ours.
How lucky we are to have had the Real
McCoy.
How grateful am I to have had the
opportunity to tell you about my friend Roger. Thank you.
To the spaghetti bar,
Yo. This is Vince.
Roger and you were pals. And it just don't get no better.
Today you celebrate the passing of one of our very bravest, very best
amigos. Though I don't seem to have much else to say, which has never
been a problem, I want to tell that holding your head up as you are
is the greatest honor you can pay a man that paid you the greatest
honor.
Just like you and Roger, like the very best of friends,
you make your mark and you
move along.
Vince
