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poetry from Lois' mother, Anita C. Singer:
The following poem was written while my precious daughter was
hospitalized and her father and I were unable to be with her due to
Ray's convelescence. So we had to settle for several daily telephone
contacts with other family members and medical personnel. The poem is
entitled:
In the Arms of Strangers
You're in the arms of strangers, my precious one,
Strangers to me but not to you
Nurses and doctors who are helping you survive
Taking you from my arms, giving you what I can not.
I wait and try to survive myself,
Try to connect the miles that separate us,
Whisper words of love and comfort, hoping they'll reach your
ears.
It's one more battle in the war of life that you and the strangers
must win.
You've been at the front before,
Fight my darling Lois, fight, my child,
And you'll make it again,
You'll make it again!
As you all know, she didn't make it! As we grieve and we are
grieving, hour by hour, as we lose sleep each night, there is one
more poem, I , her mother, have to offer, entitled:
Walking on the Edge
She walked on the edge to the tune of the road
Fly me, drive me to the wonderful world
To the great divide where the wind whistles softly
And the trucks pound the side.
Fly me, drive me, to find my rainbow
To find my love and to have him beside me
With his strong hand to guide.
Yes, yes, please take me
I'm packed and
Ready to hear the music, see the sunshine, feel
the cool raindrops
Ready for folks I'll meet,
Ready with love and kisses for ones left behind.
She walked on the edge to the tune of the road
She walked and ran, and walked, and touched
And touched!
True Friends
I never believed we would be friends 'cause
I was the mother, you my daughter
I the parent, you my child
But ever since you're gone beyond the dawn
I first realize, how unwise I was
How you were a true friend until the end,
For we shared so much, and we often touched,
You're embedded in my mind and I find
I hear you singing, the words keep ringing
In my head, while I'm up and while in bed.
I hear the 'girl-talk' like when on the phone
And when we'd meet on the street or at home.
I play back conversations and repeat the speech
So precious to me now, I can't forget it.
When I stop to shop at Macy's or browse the ads
Or choose what to wear
You're there.
I'm not alone, I feel you beside me and see your smile
And listen to your open-heart language.
Please stay with me in spirit, my dearest Lois,
For we were true friends, and we'll always remain that,
I as your mother, you my daughter,
I as your parent, you my child.
(May 1998)
From Myra W.Soden, Lois's sister:
This Web page is such a comfort to me -
I visit it daily and read and re-read all the messages being posted
by the people who loved Lois so much. It was a gift from God that I
was able to stand up on Tuesday and speak a few words about Lois, our
growing up as twin sisters, and our relationship over the years. I
wanted everyone there to see that I'd truly lost my other half and to
express some thoughts and feelings that perhaps broadened the
perceptions of Lois as a person to the many, many people who came to
honor her.
I still can't wake up from my fitful
sleep and conceive of the idea that she is no longer on this earth.
No matter what happened, I always felt her presence, thinking of her
singing, of her loving her dogs, and mostly of her sitting on the
back porch looking at the Texas sky, as I looked at the same sky here
in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. I never knew for sure, but
always suspected that the song "Blue Ridge Mountain Blues" on the
"Demo of Love" tape was done for me.
On Wednesday morning, I took Tasha,
Lois' blue Dobie, for a walk. We visited the graveside, picking up
some flowers that had been strewn around by an early morning
thunderstorm. Tasha may not have understood why we were there, but I
had to bring her because I felt Lois could see her and could hear me
when I told her her beloved dogs would be all right. Meanwhile, I
believe Lois has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and is now with Chip,
both of them vital and healthy, watching over us all.
I have always said Lois and I were so
different in so many ways. The messages on this Web page make me
realize maybe we weren't so different after all, and if I'm lucky, I
can continue to cultivate the very best of our shared and similar
traits. I loved Lois more than anyone in the world.
Watch over us, Loey!
love, from your twin sister, Myra
From Doug Duryea and Ellen Moore:
Doug:
This is a snapshot I took of Lois last
Spring when she did a dog show at the Brazos Pavillion and stayed
with us in Bryan. All dressed up in her Easter finest, just moments
after I took a couple of shots and only ten minutes before showtime,
Lois' pup took a flying leap into our pond. Plucked from the water
and popped into the tub, shampooed and dried, they made it in time to
pick up another ribbon.
Lois had a great presence at our
various music events throughout the year. With a thousand and one
tunes in her song book, Lois is the only person I know of that could
take hardcore rock and rollers and make them sit down and play
bluegrass--and like it. Lois will be greatly missed.
Dear Mike, Nikki, and Shawn,
Our thoughts and our deepest sympathies
are with you on the news of Lois' passing. We will all miss her
presence very much. Please let us know when we can be of any
help.
Much love,
Doug and Ellen
From Jerry Walsh:
It's hard to realize that Lois is no
longer with us. I don't want to believe it, but I must. When I think
of Lois, I think of so many things, for she was such a bundle of
energy in the face of all she endured and despite her physical
weaknesses. There are so many things that she brought to my life. So
many songs I never would have written, so many I never would have
played or sung, had it not been for Lois. I remember all too well the
times we played together, harmonizing, sometimes laughing, so many
songs.
I could go on and on about the stories
of events at the parties, Spring Fling, Thanksgiving Rehearsal,
Crawdad Fest, and of course GinDig at which she was hostess. And of
course you can't talk about Lois without talking about her hord of
champion Pomeranians and her love of Frenchies. But to me, there will
be one memory that stands out above the rest.
Lois, this is for all the times we sang
this song together in the key of A, your favorite. Thanks so much for
teaching it to me. I think this says what I'm feeling pretty
well.
The Road to Dunmoor
I was walking the road to Dunmoor, one evening as often I'd
done,
And my heart being heavy as stone, I was thinking 'bout times that
were gone;
When we walked arm in arm to the shore and watched the waves roll to
the sea,
Never thinking that there'd be a time they'd be rolling between you
and me.
There's many a time I have turned as I sit all alone on the quay,
And I watched as you waved me goodbye, and I felt my heart breaking
in me.
If I were a prince or a king, had money or treasure in store,
I'd travel the whole world wide and not rest, till I had found you
once more.
There's many a moment I'd wait for the letters you promised to
send,
And I'd count out the hours in each day till we'd both be united
again.
They say that in time love grows cold, and it fades like the morning
dew,
But time won't alter my mind, for I know that I can't forget you.
I've money enough for one glass, but maybe my credit will hold,
In memories I'm as rich as a king, but that can't warm my heart when
I'm cold.
So we'll drink to the times that are past and days when we walked on
the shore,
And to you, I will raise my glass, for I know that I'll ne'er see you
more.
Farewell, dear one...............
From Trudy, Dave, and the Frenchy gang at Tea-D-Bet:
Lois and I met on December 10, 1995
at (where else) the Trinity Valley Kennel Club show in Dallas. She
was there to greet me as I exited the ring with my Frenchy, Mickey,
who had just won the breed for a big fat FIVE POINT MAJOR! I will
never forget how bubbly Lois was and how fast she was talking.....all
excited about my Mickey. She was looking for an "in" to the
non-sporting ring and needed a good Frenchy to handle. As luck would
have it, I was in need of a "good handler". However, it was not
Mickey (he would be shown by me) that I wanted Lois to look at, but
his littersister, Foxfire. I ran home and picked up Foxy and brought
her back to the show site for Lois to meet and evaluate.
It was love at first sight for them
both and Lois and Foxy became a team. Lois met Foxy and I in January
at the Nolan River show; Lois proceeded to march in the ring with
Foxy and come out victorious with Foxy's first win, first MAJOR, and
first BOS. Foxy left that weekend with Lois and went home to live
with the Hanke's. Lois and I and the Tea-D-Bet kids formed our
friendship that weekend at Nolan River.
We went on the show together, share
motels on the road, etc. while Foxy and Mickey were on the circuit.
Foxy and Mickey finished quickly (too fast for Lois' liking), so Lois
went on to Special Mickey for me and got him ranked in the top ten in
a very short time. She did a wonderful job with the kids that she
showed for me, and was as competitive as they come in that show ring
(even against me and I was paying her).
She will be missed by all that knew
her, but undoubtedly those that have competed against her in the show
ring are saying softly to themselves (never outloud); "now maybe I
have a chance!" Lois, I know you will be smiling when you read that
last part....we dog show folks are a tacky bunch..ha! All my best to
you; I know you have moved on to bigger and better things.
This photo is of Judge Maxine Beam,
Lois, and her friends; Ch. Tea-D's Sly As A Fox aka Foxfire, and
Trudy *
From Doug Taylor:
Mike, Nikki, and Shawn,
I ran accross my copy of "Demo of Love"
last Friday as I was leaving to go play a little Bluegrass in
Houston. I said to myself, "I need to call and see how Lois is
doing". I'm so sorry now I didn't do it right then.
I will always think of Lois as I last
saw her, on the patio at Artz, not feeling all that good, but playing
and singing none-the-less. Her love of music was so obvious to all
around her. We will all miss her very much.
When you listen to "Demo of Love" know
that it was her labor of love and something you will always have. She
loved her music and she loved all of you with all her heart.
Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by
From Debby & Bill Payne & Missy:
Mike,
Though we met only once it made a
lasting impression on Bill & me. A little over three years ago we
lost our beloved KC (a golden retriever/Siberian husky mix) to
cancer. I desperately needed another pet to love, take care of, and
fill a small part of the hole left in my heart by her passing. A
co-worker at TDI suggested that I get in touch with Lois as she
sometimes had puppies that she would sell as pets. I knew Lois though
not well. Of course when I told her my story her generous heart went
out to me and she said that she thought she might have just the dog
for Bill and me. She wasn't a puppy, but she needed lots of love and
attention as she so small that the other dogs bullied her (just a
little bit). Of course that was CeeCee (we renamed her Missy) and
when we came out to your home that fall day to see if she would have
us we fell in love. Needless to say she now rules our home with an
iron paw. We love her dearly and will be forever grateful to Lois and
you.
When I heard the terrible news on
Monday I must say I just couldn't believe it. Such a beautiful and
generous heart just couldn't stop like that. But of course it was
true and we want you to know that you are in our hearts at this time
and that if there is ever anything that we can do for you we are
here.
Please also pass on our deepest
sympathy to the rest of your family.
With all our love and Prayers
Bill , Debi and Missy
From Ann Helgeson:
I met Lois shortly after I moved to
Elgin, into an old house that Mike was helping me to shore up. I
heard much about Lois from Mike and knew that we would get along
famously even before I met her - one night when she was singing in
the Main Street Deli (now Phil's Grill). Even in the middle of a
performance, she was happy to welcome a new person to town. After
that, we spent a lot of time together.
We shared a love of dogs, and she
helped me with the finer points (especially the toenails ) of raising
my two dachshunds, Archie and Zenobia. I went along with her to dog
shows a couple of times and helped out with carting crates and
holding dogs while she raced from the Frenchies ring and back to the
Pomeranians. Once she cut it so close that I almost had to show a
Pomeranian myself! (That would have been a black spot in the Milo
Pomeranians book ). Along the way I learned everything I will
probably ever know about showing dogs and the finer points of majors
and minors and best bitches (which still doesn't roll off my tongue
all that easily). A couple of times I camped out at the Hanke's and
fed and exercised the dogs when they were out of town. After that you
realize what a commitment those dogs were. On top of a full time job
and an active life in the music world.
Lois would always praise the talents of
the musicians that were her friends while downplaying her own. But
she was an engaging singer and always keen to get out her guitar and
sing. At the GinDig every summer she left the dishes to stack up and
headed out to settle under a tree with some of those musicians she
was always telling me about. When she was working on "Demo of Love" I
got a kick out of being able to help, as a geographer in a former
life, in a minor way with all those Welsh placenames in "Rhondda
Vale." She made that tape for her mother and father most of all, and
I hope they know what a demonstration of love it was.
I'll remember Lois' generosity. She
always showed up with non-occasion presents: the vase that now holds
flowers from my garden, minus the pink rose that I laid on her coffin
this afternoon. The apron I wear in the kitchen comes from a San
Antonio dog show. A dachshund T-shirt from another show. And I'm not
talking about all the coffee mugs I have inherited accidentally when
she showed up with coffee in hand.
She downplayed her state of health that
last night at home when we were trying to set up the computer so she
would have something to do during her long recuperation. Where she is
now they don't worry about Internet connections. Surely your email
will arrive faultlessly, Lois. Don't laugh too heartily at all these
sentimental things we're saying about you. They're all from the
heart.
Ann
Taken at Thanksgiving Rehearsal at Camp Creek by Sue Coffman.
Lois is leading the Steve Baker
Assortment Band.
Taken at Thanksgiving Rehearsal at Camp Creek by Susan Youngs.
Lois, Ann, and Ellen 'backin' up'.
Lois getting some sugar.
The Dash (one of my favorite poems)
I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth...
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars....the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy's being read
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spend your dash?
From Bob Atkins:
Lois,I really appreciated the way you
could put up with some of lifes' annoying aspects, like, uh, -
drummers, - and still keep smiling. It was a challenge and a treat to
play with you, and I'll miss that.
Do ya'll remember the Rehersal Dinner
several years ago, when Lois strode into the living room wearing an
evening gown, and did that killer Patsy Cline material? Pat Cleere
was there for the first time, and I know after hearing Lois, she
decided we weren't such a bad lot after all.
And if no one else will say it, I will.
Lois, I loved the tatoos.
From Dave Howard:
I had met Lois on so many occasions,
and yet we had never spoken much, I guess due to the fact that there
were so many folks around. GinDig, Spring Fling, the Beach Party. . .
This past year, at the beach party and Thanksgiving Rehearsal, I finally had a chance to sing and play with her and she impressed me so much with her love of music and especially, harmonies. I was looking forward to playing with her again and working up some good duets. I will miss her, but her voice and guitar will be with me always.